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It was Memorial Day weekend about 9yrs ago; my husband, my son, and I were at my Aunts house with my Family. Cindy, my sister was holding my son, Seth, who was 8 weeks old at the time. Cindy was playing with Seth and raised him up and when she did it raised his shirt up and my Mother noticed that there was a nodal on his lower back. I asked my sister, “Cindy, feel that bump on his lower back. Is it hard?” Cindy said, “Yes it is.” My cousin who is a Nurse Practioner was there and she looked at his back, and told us, “Go have it checked out when you all get back home.”I had no idea at the time, that bump would cost my son the fight of his life. The day after we arrived home we took Seth to the Doctor. She did some blood work and then came back into the room to give me the worst news of my life, she told me, “ It could be Cancer” I know it killed her to tell me this, and it killed me to hear it. Looking back on that day I still don’t know how I even got out of the Doctor’s office or how I even drove home. I felt like I was in a whirlwind now when I look back on that day it’s a blur, there are so many details I can’t remember. There was just an overwhelming worry, and fear. I felt as if the world was setting on my shoulders. When I came home I had to tell my husband the devastating news, that our new baby could have a disease that could kill him. He could tell the moment I walked in the door that something wasn’t right. I just came out and told him, “She said it could be cancer.” I remember my husband saying, “Oh God no, Oh God no”. He held his hands over his face screaming it over and over. Then he went and picked Seth up from his carrier and we held him, held each other and cried, and prayed that our son would be okay. About a day after we first found out the news we went up to Louisville to see some Doctor’s that Doctor. Kinsley had referred us to, they specialize in Pediatric Oncologist. They did some scans and then reported us the devastating news. Our son had stage four Cancer; Neuroblastoma. Cancer comes in four stages, which means that my son had the worst stage. They told us he had tumors in his stomach, back, groan, neck, and one in his chest that was as round as a coke can. I felt as if the world was spinning around me and I was standing still. The thought of losing my son was unconceivable; I couldn’t even wrap my mind around it. I remember wondering how could I live without him, life wouldn’t be worth living without Seth. |
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This was our room at Kosiar, there was a crib for Seth, and a small “daybed” for us. We even had our own bathroom. The staff there was so wonderful, I often call them “Angels” for doing all the things they do, day in and day out. |